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Posts Tagged ‘coalition’

Brits triumph at the Corrupt Politician Awards

British stars were out in force at the Corrupt Politician Awards, held last night in a luxurious but secret overseas location at the UK taxpayers’ expense. Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkind showed that British sleaze is still as strong as ever and were delighted to pick up the top prizes of lucrative contracts with companies that may or may not exist.

‘It makes you proud to be British’ said the BBC’s Nick Robinson, from beside the red carpet, where the M.P.s posed for photographs by putting their hands over their faces before going inside to be secretly filmed receiving their cash prizes. ‘Britain has shown it is a world force when it comes to dodgy politicians. It takes you back to the hey-day of British sleaze.’

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2015
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‘NobNomination’ craze sweeps through Westminster

‘Often the nominee is compelled to make a complete knob out of him/herself, modelling bespoke high-viz waterproof gear that has clearly never seen mud before the photo opportunity or dare.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
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Government ‘gone’

The British Government has completely disappeared, according to reports from Westminster.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2015
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David Miliband to seek re-election as his comedy alter-ego Ed

'a joke can go on for too long'Popular stand-up David Miliband has confirmed that he will once again be seeking re-election in the guise of his bumbling comic creation ‘Ed Miliband’.

‘I see that Al Murray made the headlines yesterday when he announced that his ‘Pub Landlord’ character will be standing against Nigel Farage, but I’ve been doing it for years’ chuckled Miliband. ‘I came up with the idea for a comedy younger brother years ago. He was a kind of imaginary friend when I was growing up, and when I went into politics it just seemed like a funny thing to try, and for some reason it caught on and I’ve been doing him ever since.’

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
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Empty chair surges ahead of Cameron in polls

The chair, currently believed to be standing independently, has already received tentative offers from all of the main parties to join with them should the results of the general election force another coalition.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
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