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Posts Tagged ‘coalition’

Ed Balls denies involvement in slow motion car crash

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has strenuously denied any responsibility for a slow motion car crash taking place in Westminster.

Mr Balls was summonsed by Labour Party authorities to explain why he did not report the accident, which began when passenger Ed Miliband seized the wheel from his brother David in 2010, causing the vehicle to lurch awkwardly all over the place.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2014
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Nick Clegg to play with tiny steering wheel during Prime Minister’s Questions

he can make all the noises, tooCan use the toy steering wheel to turn left and turn right in accordance with prevailing government policy.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2014
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Last known Lib Dem dies in captivity

Zoo keepers, veterinarians and ‘sandal-wearing libertarians’ were left mourning the loss of the world’s last remaining ‘Greater-spectacled Oakeshott’. The ‘Oakeshott’ had been cared for in the House of Lords’ wildlife refuge since May 2000, but had failed to find a left-wing breeding partner among the elderly peers.

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Posted: May 29th, 2014
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Liberal Democrats attempt largest salvage operation in history

serious cracks could appear at any momentA major salvage operation is underway in Glasgow, where a team of engineers are said to be ‘extremely pessimistic’ about their chances of successfully resurrecting a sunken political party, the Liberal Democrats.

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Posted: May 29th, 2014
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Cameron sparks outrage by posing for photos with ‘dead politician’

Photographs of David Cameron posing with a dead politician have been condemned as ‘heartless’ by family and friends of the deceased today. Some of the photographs clearly show Mr. Cameron laughing at the stricken body while others show him ignoring the lifeless corpse altogether.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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