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Posts Tagged ‘coalition’

Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′

As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon.

Against the backdrop of a geo-political tsunami, William Jefferson Hague has announced his decision to resign as the UK’s Foreign Secretary, retire as an MP next election and focus on building a ‘start-of-the-art Anderson shelter’ in his back garden.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
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Cameron to give Satan ‘second chance’ as No.10 press secretary

important to have connectionsPrime Minister David Cameron has today denied accusations of poor judgement after confirming that he has appointed Satan, former overseer of hell, as his new director of communications in Downing Street.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
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Ed Balls denies involvement in slow motion car crash

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has strenuously denied any responsibility for a slow motion car crash taking place in Westminster.

Mr Balls was summonsed by Labour Party authorities to explain why he did not report the accident, which began when passenger Ed Miliband seized the wheel from his brother David in 2010, causing the vehicle to lurch awkwardly all over the place.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2014
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Nick Clegg to play with tiny steering wheel during Prime Minister’s Questions

he can make all the noises, tooCan use the toy steering wheel to turn left and turn right in accordance with prevailing government policy.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2014
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Last known Lib Dem dies in captivity

Zoo keepers, veterinarians and ‘sandal-wearing libertarians’ were left mourning the loss of the world’s last remaining ‘Greater-spectacled Oakeshott’. The ‘Oakeshott’ had been cared for in the House of Lords’ wildlife refuge since May 2000, but had failed to find a left-wing breeding partner among the elderly peers.

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Posted: May 29th, 2014
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