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Posts Tagged ‘Cockney’

New schools inspector ‘has a little word’ with head teachers

not your typical inset dayThe Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove, has announced the appointment of a new Chief Inspector for Schools. Ronnie ‘The Animal’ Henderson has been brought in, he said, ‘to add rigour and robustness to the schools inspection framework’.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2013
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Belfast needs to be ‘more ginger, gay and Cockney’

Northern Ireland’s Chief Constable Matt Baggott has said that the only way the province can have a peaceful marching season is by sporting a red fluorescent mullet while wearing a lycra onesie covered in ‘mother of pearl’ buttons.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2013
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Condemnation for Olympic Cockney cull

Although the number of Cockneys in the wild has dwindled in recent years,  the East End still has sizeable breeding groups as no culls have been authorised in London since the1980s when Norman Tebbit travelled around the East End dispatching them with Thatcher’s personal crossbow.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2012
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Cockney rhyming slang to be third official language at London Olympics

'wiff-waff' apparently rhyming slang for 'another four years as Mayor'‘wiff-waff’ apparently slang for ‘another four years as mayor’.

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2011
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Cockney gangsta rappers at war over ‘digital rights protection’

Two of rap’s most keenly anticipated debuts are being delayed by a disagreement over who will provide ‘digital protection’ for download sales. The forthcoming releases follow the adoption of U.S. hip-hop culture among East London’s old-time criminals.

The rival releases are ‘Sod tha Old Bill’ by The Wrench, aka 65 year old former Watney Street gang member Johnny Jones …

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Posted: May 5th, 2009
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