Employees at an office supply firm in Leatherhead were celebrating today after their annual Christmas party topped their previous record for fatalities, colleague impregnation and on-the-spot dismissals.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2012
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‘It’s been over four weeks now, and not one person has tried to give me the new nickname ‘Magnum, PI’,’ complained the skinny strawberry blond. ‘It’s just not very supportive. One person did ask me ‘what’s that on your top lip?’ on Tuesday, but it turns out the biro I’d been chewing had broken, so I don’t think it counts.’
Posted: Nov 30th, 2012
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‘He might as well have just waved a dildo in my face,’ said his victim.
Posted: Oct 3rd, 2012
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‘Hitler was well known for arriving for work at the Führerbunker carrying a cheese and pickle sandwich in a paper bag. Of course he only ate white bread.’
Posted: Sep 7th, 2012
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‘After the drudgery of training, playing, dating beautiful women and being pursued by the paparazzi, it’s great to escape into the world of purchase orders, staff rotas and VAT returns,’ said Theo Walcott. ‘It’s what every young boy dreams of.’
Posted: Jan 8th, 2012
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