Meteorologists were today said to be ‘cautiously optimistic’ that the skies over much of Britain would tonight be the gloomiest in living memory. ‘You might think a grey sky is a grey sky is a grey sky,’ [read...]
An alleged driver, later identified as 48-year-old Colin Meeks from Solihull, was sentenced to three years in prison for hogging the middle-lane of the M6 for nearly 5 miles. The shocking incident was reported to police by fellow road users, [read...]
Defence Secretary and St Custard’s schoolboy, Gavin Williamson, will spend hard won Budget concessions for military funding on a huge inflatable sign that says ‘go away and shut up’, it has been revealed. A defence review written by Williamson himself identified a limited arsenal of military grade neon flashing ‘shut up & [read...]
Experts have confirmed that Brexit has replaced Hitler as the leading endpoint of online debates. One researcher observed: ‘Such is the toxicity of Brexit that no-one has yet found a way of wanting to discuss anythingever again – let alone reviving a conversation once the ‘B-bomb’ has been dropped. [read...]
President Trump, speaking through his spokesperson Sean Spicer, has announce a revolutionary plan to deal with Global Warming, if such a thing does exist. According to Spicer, “people” have told the President that a limited nuclear exchange will throw enough particulate up into the atmosphere to block the sun’s rays and cool the earth for years. [read...]
