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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Fear grow that missing Masterchef pair may have disappeared up own bums

‘During the final we feared that Gregg was going to spontaneously combust’

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2014
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Bollocks, says everyone, as Mayan apocalypse fails to happen

Same time next year, eh lads.There has been widespread disappointment among the planet’s male population as Britain woke up today to find that the Doomsday forecast by the Ancient Mayans’ ‘long count’ failed to happen.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2014
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Waiting times to assault NHS staff ‘have tripled’, finds study

free-for-all at the point of needThe latest report on the performance of the NHS has found a familiar but depressing picture of Accident and Emergency rooms full of people who have waited up to three hours to launch an unprovoked physical attack on a medical orderly or nurse.

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2014
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Scientists claim 2013 may have shortest February on record

predictions made after consulting horoscopesResearchers at the Institute for Applied Theoretics, in Basel, France, claim that climate change is increasing the risk of shorter Februaries, and predict that in 2013 the month will be exceptionally short.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2014
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Private schools must be more patronising to keep tax relief

A*Labour’s education spokesman, Tristram Hunt has announced plans to make private schools’ tax breaks conditional on being a lot more patronising towards state schools.  ‘Some independent schools are already being extremely patronising and we welcome that, but if the sector as a whole is dodging tax to the tune of £165 million a year they must elucidate why they think they’re totally superior in every possible way.’

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2014
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