NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Hard Working Families to be given extra votes

it's all about getting up again tomorrowNow that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the last day of voter registration looming fast, all spare votes will be distributed among those impossible-to-prove beliefs such as the ‘common good’, ‘patriotism’ and ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from Politics



Email respondents to only answer first question

New office protocols have been confirmed this week in which people answering emails will only have deal with the first question they read, ignoring the list of queries that need attention underneath.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Social media survey reveals no one cares about your exercise updates

The damning results of the survey which polled all users everywhere, confirm public fears that exercise and gym related ‘boasting’ is now the third most irritating status update, just behind pictures of your nauseating pets or the latest Jamie Oliver recipe you slopped onto a square plate.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Farage accuses left foot of being left wing

the choice is simple, ask yourself; 'Do I need this?'Nigel Farage has vowed to shoot himself in the foot after accusing it of being ‘a socialist’. UKIP supporters were concerned when Mr Farage started addressing his left foot as ‘Michael’ and accusing it of treachery. He also addressed his right foot as ‘Margaret’, stroking it lovingly in an interview on Breakfast Time.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 19th, 2015
More from Politics



Most emails now delivered by van

In a shocking waste of resources, figures released today suggest that £103bn of online shopping has fuelled a boom in transit sales. Rather than use virtual means to buy and sell goods, many entrepreneurs are relying on vans to transport their messages and have even resorted to using carrier pigeons to send invoices.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief