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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Green Party’s Natalie Bennett offers to mediate over Ukraine

Joking that she had recently been fighting ‘her own cold-war’ she has promised to create jobs, housing and economic stability for both countries with the addition of 17 million new jobs and luxury housing for those made homeless by the conflict.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Superman to ditch cape amid health & safety concerns

‘After watching Madonna at the Brits the last thing I need is for my enemies to know that I have such a fundamental weakness’ Superman told the Daily Planet.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Elderly woman has a fall

In front of an audience of millions, a frail 56 year old woman collapsed onto a nubile dancer – impaling him on a pair of spiked breasts. While the O2 crowd were shocked to see the young dancer bleed to death, the elderly Madonna Louise Ciccone survived the incident thanks the elasticity of a body made solely from silicone, collagen and an inflated ego.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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Politicians ‘not guilty’ of providing governance for votes‏

In a week when two ex-Foreign Secretaries have been accused of corruption, many around Westminster were gratified to discover that no politician had ever done ‘a day’s work’ in exchange for a parliamentary salary.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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BBC lose Operation Yewtree franchise to Sky

In a day of frantic bidding, Sky has won exclusive rights to Operation Yewtree raids, wresting control from the BBC. The move has won especial approval from the South Yorkshire Police Commissioner, who stated that his officers ‘were looking forward to working closely with Sky.’

In a separate statement officers from Operation Yewtree praised the BBC for its ‘unstinting professionalism’ and insisted that most Yewtree officers would ‘probably continue to purchase a TV Licence.’

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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