NewsBiscuit

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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Poshmerga forces take Harrogate. Declare balsamic law.

After a day of heavy fighting, the new middle-class terror group has proclaimed itself ruler of Harrogate, Ripon and Knaresborough. A ‘Poshmerga’ spokesperson, identified only as ‘Debbie from Marketing’ said they were now consolidating their position, but a column of Range Rovers was observed this afternoon, headed towards Skipton.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Here is the forecast for the iCloud

Wonder whether that iCloud is going to leak tomorrow and ruin that special wedding?
.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
More from Celebrity



Moyes takes Fellaini on loan to help out around house

In a surprise transfer deadline day move Manchester United have agreed to let midfielder Marouane Fellaini go out on a season long loan to the their ex-manager David Moyes.

‘I’ve worked with Marouane at two clubs’ said Moyes today ‘and I’ve always found him to be a very useful. The fans at Manchester United don’t seem to appreciate him so I thought he might like to join me for a loan-spell and help with some odd-jobs about the place.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Public warned not to download naked photos of Steven Seagal

it'll ruin your dayFear has gripped online users who may have, in a furtive attempt to view intimate erotica of Jennifer Lawrence ‘before their family comes home’, inadvertently downloaded explicit images of Hollywood’s favourite martial arts veteran, ironic Buddhist and poster-boy for Cuprinol®. Although a sprightly 62, most teenage boys or frustrated husbands would admit that Mr. Segal’s squinty-eyed leer is not quite the same as a gyrating Kim Kardashian.

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2014
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