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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Sunderland’s female teenage nightclubbers slate Olympic women’s boxing

‘To call that authentic fighting is shite. There was no spitting or hair pulling, and the words ‘you slag’ weren’t even shouted.’

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2014
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‘Yes’ on Scottish independence ‘more likely’ as Boris Johnson heads for Parliament

Alex Salmond’s campaign for an independent Scotland was bolstered this week, as Mayor of London Boris Johnson announced he’ll be standing as MP in the 2015 general election, with his eyes set firmly on Number 10.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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New English GCSE to require all answers to be less than 140-characters

Efforts to modernise the dated GCSE English syllabus have been announced by the Department for Education today. All GCSE English answers will be required to adhere to the 140-character limit to prepare students for a future in social media.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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Britain’s oldest man still waiting for BT Infinity

if only he could remember his password...‘I initially thought that Infinity was a reference to bandwidth, but I now realise it’s an indication of the average waiting time.’

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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Veteran dog walker finally finds corpse in woods

After years of waking up early to take his dog for a walk through the woods, retiree Mike Edwards has finally found a corpse. The grim discovery, which he suspects will be the first of many, was made early yesterday morning when he noticed a hand sticking out from beneath some leaves.

‘I’ve been walking my dog through the woods every morning since I retired fifteen years ago’, said the 67-year-old. ‘Everybody knows that all dog walkers eventually find something like this, but I’ve not once found a mangled body or a skeleton. I’ve never even come across a discarded running shoe with the foot still inside. That all changed today; it’s terribly exciting’.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2014
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