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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Fears grow for Cara Delevigne after photo blackout reaches second day

The previously ubiquitous model/actress had been front page tabloid news for 287 consecutive days before her mysterious disappearance, beating Princess Diana’s long-standing record.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2014
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Conservatives call for more ‘welfare murders’

‘Claimants should be prepared to murder, and if their tragic multiple victims are also on benefits, then we have a win-win situation’

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2014
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Glasgow to be ‘nuked’ during Commonwealth Closing Ceremony

'That's one in the eye for Cameron!'A global audience, set to be in the millions, will witness a lavish TV spectacle combining mediocre athletics, the smugness of Alex Salmond and a ‘much needed’ nuclear deterrent. Glasgow is already committed to demolishing its iconic Red Road flats for the Opening Ceremony but has now been given the ‘green light’ to unleash atomic devastation on the remains of the city, leaving nothing but a deep-fried mushroom cloud in its place.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Childcare reforms lead to first battery-farm nurseries

incredibly efficient education‘Each toddler up to the age of four will now be cared for in connecting cages sharing common divider walls’.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God

‘I don’t care what you call me – Allah, God, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever – It really doesn’t matter because I don’t exist’.

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Posted: Apr 3rd, 2014
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