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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Islamic State tweets ‘haters gonna hate’

Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Enoch Powell Pound Shop to close

'easing the economic burden of immigration' since 1968Launched as an experiment to see if mild racism might reverse the effects of the recession, the stores stocked a large number of budget patriotic trinkets and cleaning products, such as Union Jack dishcloths, porcelain bulldogs and 100% pure white spirit.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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Health Minister abolishes ‘NICE’; launches ‘NASTY’

Asked what this stood for, the Health Minister looked puzzled and said ‘It doesn’t stand for anything, that’s just its name.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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Story involving Scarlett Johansson features large picture of Scarlett Johansson

The story was quite hard to concentrate on, although it possibly featured a number of less photogenic subjects such as oppressed Palestinians and starving Africans, but ooh, look, there she is again from that rom-com ‘He’s Just Not That Into You,’ the one where she goes skinny-dipping.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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Queen finally honours Stephen Hawking by granting him English accent

His synthesiser was formally re-programmed so that Hawking sounded like he was from his native England and not a cheap 1950s American sci-fi movie.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2015
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