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Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

Scotland votes in favour of merger of Brian Coxes

The new single Cox will play British heavies in middlebrow American action movies, grin at how wonderful science can be and exercise increased tax raising powers, sometimes simultaneously.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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Northamptonshire named Britain’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity

just passing throughIt was the award a few wanted but only one could have. In the end, it was disappointment for Buckinghamshire, the borough of Chorley and everywhere within a five-mile radius of Motherwell as Northamptonshire won the nomination as the UK’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity (AOGM).

‘Neither quite vile enough for it to be funny, nor possessed of anything that might induce visitors to stay longer than it takes to use a toilet, this most nondescript of counties was a natural choice,’ said Lord Melvyn Bragg, chairman of the judging panel. ‘Its highest point is a mundane 738 feet. Its county flower is the cowslip. Even when Corby ceased to be the largest town in Britain without a railway station in 2009, Irthlingborough succeeded to the title. I could go on, but, you know, life’s too short, isn’t it?’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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Celebrities to balls-up your commute on Poppy Day

Service announcements at Wood Lane will be replaced by Joey Barton reciting the prologue from Friedrich Nietzsche’s ‘Das Verhältnis der Schopenhauer Ischen Philosophie zu einer deutschen Kultur’, before bursting out of the control office and head-butting commuters on to the track.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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Goths looking forward to fantastic Halloween night at ordinary dress party

nice to express yourself once in a while‘Without all the black and white make-up and piercings it was impossible to recognise anyone.’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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Emperor’s New Clothes update: more victims come forward to complain of indecency

Scotland Yard’s Operation Fairytale Squad has announced that new evidence has emerged over alleged indecent exposure by The Emperor in a distressing streaking incident recorded several centuries ago.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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