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Posts Tagged ‘Commonwealth Games’

Glasgow kicked out of Commonwealth Games after failing drugs test

Glasgow tested positive for Amphetamine, Barbiturates, Cocaine, Diamorphine, Ecstasy, Feneazepam, Grass, Heroin, Inhalants, Jellies, Ketamine, LSD, Magic Mushrooms, New Psychoactive Substances, Opiates, Puff, Quat, Resin, Smilies, Temazepan, Ultram, Vanilla Sky, Weed, XTC, Yaba and Zoly.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2014
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Glasgow to be ‘nuked’ during Commonwealth Closing Ceremony

'That's one in the eye for Cameron!'A global audience, set to be in the millions, will witness a lavish TV spectacle combining mediocre athletics, the smugness of Alex Salmond and a ‘much needed’ nuclear deterrent. Glasgow is already committed to demolishing its iconic Red Road flats for the Opening Ceremony but has now been given the ‘green light’ to unleash atomic devastation on the remains of the city, leaving nothing but a deep-fried mushroom cloud in its place.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Scientists discover gene that makes athletes misread labels

Athletes who claim that they innocently ingested an over-the-counter medicine which, unbeknown to them, contained a banned substance, may be victims of a rogue gene which makes them far more likely to misread labels.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2010
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Commonwealth Games Opening and Closing Ceremonies combined to save everyone the bother

There was immense relief last night when it was confirmed that the 2010 Commonwealth Games in New Delhi is be shortened to simply consist of a spectacular and colourful Opening Ceremony followed immediately by an impressive and moving Closing Ceremony.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2010
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India relieved as Pakistan finally blamed for Games crisis

Pressure had been mounting on Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, with opposition leaders pointing out that ‘a government that can’t blame Pakistan for something isn’t fit for purpose’.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2010
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