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Posts Tagged ‘community service’

Berlusconi doing community service inseminating pandas

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was recently sentenced to a year’s community service for tax fraud, has found work inseminating a giant panda at Edinburgh zoo, following failed attempts to mate her with a male panda. The zoo and the 77-year-old billionaire’s lawyers said that they were satisfied that the ruling was a win-win, allowing him to remain both politically and sexually active.

‘Tian Tian’s hormone levels had been falling drastically and at first she spurned his advances, but this didn’t deter Mr Berlusconi in the least,’ said Charles Osborne, director of breeding at Edinburgh. ‘He used all his experience and charm to woo her successfully and, fingers crossed, we hope to be able to announce shortly that she is expecting, er, something.’

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
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Devil agrees to trial community sentences

just dong an honest day's workThe Devil will impose non-custodial sentences following a report by the Chief Inspector of Prisons highlighting problems of overcrowding and poor conditions in Hell.

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2010
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