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Posts Tagged ‘commuters’

Gregg Wallace fixed grin device cures depression, provokes violence

‘Why the long face?’ is a question that may soon be relegated to the past thanks to the release of the incredible Gregg Wallace fixed-grin device. Fitting neatly and invisibly into the corners of the mouth ‘The Wallace’ claims to turn all frowns upside down in a nano-second. Anger management specialists and medical practitioners are hailing the device as an amazing alternative to anti-depressants and expensive courses of therapy.

‘Valium, librium and mogadon once seemed to provide the perfect answer to stress,’ said Dr Hilda Radcliffe from her Harley Street clinic, ‘but The Wallace comes without any of the typical side-affects, such as altering the chemistry of the brain and turning people into vegetables. However, it is not without its problems and patients do need to take care where and when they wear it.’

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Commuters beg Unions to extend tube strike

the fresh air, the view, the mayor of London cycling by...London commuters begged London transport unions tonight to extend the current 48 hour tube strike indefinitely, citing “an immeasurable improvement to our quality of life and general well-being” since suspension of services began.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2014
More from UK News

First-time buyers struggling to raise deposits for season tickets

An industry survey has revealed that almost half of prospective buyers believe it will take them seven years or more to raise the deposit they need to purchase a season ticket allowing them to travel to work by train.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2012
More from Business, UK News

‘We thought of cycling first,’ say veteran two-wheel commuters

People who have been cycling ‘long before Bradley bloody Wiggins and the Olympics came along’ have been loudly pointing it out to those who have just developed a sudden urge to get down to their local bike shop and join in.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2012
More from News In Brief

Tourist maced by commuter in post-Olympics conversation error

CCTV recording shows the 59-year-old tourist attempting what was thought to have been an Olympic-related quip to an unidentified morning commuter who quickly dispatched him with the debilitating spray.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2012
More from News In Brief