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Posts Tagged ‘Computer’

NSA used ‘Microsoft Windows’ to infect millions of computers

The documents leaked by Edward Snowden have yielded what may be their most shocking revelation yet: plans to infect millions of computers with malware to prevent them from working properly. This was devised by the NSA in consultation with a shady billionaire, unofficially named as ‘Bill Gates’, who had close links to many different arms of the US government.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2014
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Disappointment for scientists as new super-computer fails to go mad

Scientists at Mal-Tech University, Wisconsin have expressed their immense disappointment at the failure of their new super-computer Off White to show any signs of megalomania.

The technological titan went online six months ago has since performed flawlessly, displaying nary a hint of sentience, lunacy or vague curiosity.

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Posted: May 29th, 2013
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Microsoft admits Windows Updates principally created to annoy

Microft claiming Windows 8 'will be, like, sooo much better'Software updates are ‘pranks’ largely generated by bored or frustrated programmers

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2009
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Hewlett Packard launch laptop BIOS revision in front of stunned world leaders

world leaders 'humbled' by timing of announcementIn a momentous launch event held before world leaders in California last night, PC manufacturer Hewlett Packard announced that it has released version E of its laptop BIOS routine for the EliteBook range of computers. ‘This is truly a great event which surpasses all other changes in technology. I promised you change and we have delivered’ said a tearful Barack Obama as he wept at the news emerging from HP’s engineers.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2009
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Computer scientists create ‘Artificial Stupidity’

‘You tell it to open the door and it pulls the door into its own face.’

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2007
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