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Posts Tagged ‘computers’

Schoolboy scientist foresaw technology would be used for inane rubbish

told all his friends about it on the 'playground' social network but should have used more smileys‘Chilling prediction of smiley punctuation’

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2015
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Password complexity to overtake poetry by 2020

‘Limericks won’t cut it’, said one IT insider. ‘They’re too predictable. Iambic pentameter will shortly be the minimum standard acceptable and even then users will need to show a wide range of metaphor and simile if they’re to defeat GCHQ’s computers.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
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Computer scenes must be ‘realistic in films’ says EU

EU rules coming into force in the New Year have angered movie makers. From next year actors are not going to be allowed to ‘just switch on’ a computer; instead it has to go through the usual start up scripts, hang, rebooting and then inform the actor that update 1 of 125 is being installed. ‘We think it will add additional tension into plotlines as the hero waits for Adobe Acrobat to reinstall’ explained one EU policy maker.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2014
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83-year-old woman ‘unimpressed’ with ‘what they can do nowadays’

The entire IT sector has been thrown into crisis after Irene Elcombe, a pensioner from East Cowes on the Isle of Wight, expressed her distinct indifference at over 40 years of exponential technological innovation.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2011
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Sentient Tesco tills start taking hostages

also now speaking like Graham NortonA set of self-service supermarket tills has apparently become self-aware and taken over an entire Tesco Express store in Dorset.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2010
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