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Posts Tagged ‘computers’

Sentient Tesco tills start taking hostages

also now speaking like Graham NortonA set of self-service supermarket tills has apparently become self-aware and taken over an entire Tesco Express store in Dorset.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2010
More from Science/Technology

Scientists announce ‘Computers not that good’

Share prices in technology players tumbled last night as a shock report announced that, ‘when all is said and done, computers are a bit rubbish.’ The report’s author, John Edwards of Xerox’s Paolo Alto research centre stated: ‘It just came to me in a blinding flash- these machines just aren’t all that.’

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Posted: May 18th, 2010
More from News In Brief

Microsoft launches new version of ‘Not Responding’ 2009

986-not-responding‘Modern professionals demand to be let down by technology in a variety of new ways.’

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2009
More from Science/Technology

Microsoft delays launch of Stephen Hawking Vista

Software giant Microsoft has admitted that the launch of the latest Stephen Hawking upgrade has had to be delayed due to problems with the new operating system, which keeps crashing whenever asked to calculate when the universe began.

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2008
More from Science/Technology

Dramatic increase in the number of proud parents whose sons ‘do something with computers’

Encouraging news that 100% of them ‘are doing very well.’

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2008
More from UK News