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Posts Tagged ‘Conservative party’

Boom in meth labs blamed on unsuccessful teachers’ strike

A sharp rise in the production of the highly addictive stimulant crystal methamphetamine on the UK’s streets has been directly blamed on last week’s national teachers’ strike today, which unions deemed largely unsuccessful.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2014
More from Education



Men on diets demand to know when the potato ‘stopped being a vegetable’

Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as had been previously suggested.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2014
More from Health



Schoolboy successfully lights Bunsen burner without messing about

A 13-year-old Lancashire schoolboy has become the first pupil in the UK to successfully light a Bunsen burner without turning it up too high or too low or attempting to burn his school to the ground.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UK celebrates most successful ‘tossing’ innuendo day on record

The Office of National Statistics has revealed that the British public ‘surpassed expectations’ on Shrove Tuesday yesterday, making more ‘tossing’ innuendos than in any other year since records began. The tradition, which was once reserved for the kitchen, has become widespread among the public with phrases such as, ‘let’s have a good toss in the kitchen’ being openly used on daytime television, with the ‘Loose Women’ breaking all previous records on their own.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Decisive EU warning on Crimea: ‘Eurovision will be really awkward this year’

Anything but Boom Bang-a-Bang, pleaseEuropean Union leaders have made their first common statement on the Ukraine crisis, warning Russia that its actions leave them no choice but to be ‘really, really frosty’ at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

‘The aggressive action of the Russian government towards a sovereign European state is unacceptable,’ the statement reads. ‘We are all completely in agreement that, unless the Crimea is returned to Ukrainian control, we will make things really, really awkward in the green room at this year’s Eurovision, make no mistake. We will certainly not cheer when the Russians come on, we will wave no Russian flags, and if anybody votes for them we will tut, not just firmly, but audibly.’

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
More from Politics