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Posts Tagged ‘Conservative party’

Tories welcome minority status for Corniche people

The Tory faithful have welcomed the ‘long overdue’ news that Corniche people are to be recognised and protected as a national minority, thus guaranteeing the human rights of the super-rich. This, they said, should also send a clear message to the rest of the country that it is not enough to simply be ‘ quite well-off’ any more.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2014
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Alleged Islamic takeover of schools ‘can’t be worse than Gove’

A Birmingham inquiry into a hard-line Muslims taking control of city schools, it set to conclude that a fundamentalist rejection of 21st century learning ‘can not be more detrimental’ than the Secretary of State’s A level reforms.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2014
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David Cameron’s forehead to be fitted with solar panels

He's blue. He's green. He's all points in between. David Cameron.Boris is keen to use it as an alternative to a third runway at Heathrow

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2014
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Culture Secretary blasted with Cameron’s ‘full confidence’

The Culture Secretary Maria Miller’s position is said to be ‘untenable’ today after the Prime Minister was forced to express full confidence in her actions.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
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Nick Clegg to resort to ‘mum jokes’ in all future live debates

"I agree with Nick"Crestfallen Nick Clegg has been advised by his publicists to adopt a more ‘ruthless approach’ in all future live debates, by resorting to ‘mum jokes’ when backed into a corner by his opponent.

Clegg’s recent debate with UKIP’s Nigel Farage on Britain and the EU, televised live on BBC Two, resulted in UKIP storming home with a massive 68% of votes in a snap YouGov survey, leaving the Lib Dems with no other choice than to court the ‘mum joke’ vote.

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Posted: Apr 3rd, 2014
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