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Posts Tagged ‘Conservative party’

‘I heard Feldman not saying it,’ claims Grant Shapps

‘I distinctly heard him not say it, and in fact on the way home I clearly recall saying to my wife, “It’s a good thing Lord Feldman didn’t call our activists ‘swivel-eyed loons’ at today’s event”.’

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Posted: May 20th, 2013
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Chancellor now understands ‘why we cry’

surely just a pilot project which shouldn't be allowed outside NewhamScientists today expressed excitement that the pioneering android Chancellor, Gideon11, may have for the first time experienced something equivalent to human emotion.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2013
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Big beasts of Tory party ‘dangerously close to extinction’

always had its claws outThe recent demise of the Thatcher, once considered the most fearsome of all the big Tory beasts, has put renewed focus on the dwindling numbers of Tories who, in happier times, roamed freely through the jungles of Middle England.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2013
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Rash of jailed Tory peers on TV ‘proves Conservatives are still relevant’, claims Cameron

The huge number of ennobled ex-convicts appearing on British media outlets in the last few days proves the Tory party is ‘still in touch with the popular mood’, said David Cameron in a speech last night.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2013
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Eric Pickles ‘beached’ in Torbay

Communities secretary Eric Pickles was this afternoon being cooled with buckets of seawater by Tory activists from the Torbay area who had heard of his distressed condition after being washed up onto the picturesque Oddicombe beach earlier today.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2012
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