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Posts Tagged ‘Conservatives’

Party manifestos to be displayed in plain packets with government health warning

best to keep them away from childrenPoliticians will no longer be able to publicly advertise their manifestos and shops will be expected to keep them hidden away from view under the counter.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2015
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Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
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Disaffected UK extremists ‘may not be allowed to re-join the Conservative Party’

...won't be allowed abroad either, not that they would ever want to leave UKThe Prime Minister today announced a new raft of measures designed to combat the threat of Britons joining the shadowy extremist group UKIP, including removing the right of those individuals to later return to the Conservative Party.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2014
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Conservatives to be reintroduced to Scottish Highlands

A small number of Conservatives have been released from captivity into the North West Highlands as part of a project to reintroduce the species to Scotland.

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2014
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David Cameron ‘may not have been beaten up enough at school’, warn experts

'Eat fist, oik!'‘Cameron’s blend of smug self-assurance and empty rhetoric can only be a result of his being under-bullied as a child.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2014
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