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Posts Tagged ‘Conservatives’

Thousands flee England to escape SNP tyranny

No-one can repulse the 'Devils in skirts'There were chaotic scenes across England today as tens of thousands of people fled the country rather than stay and face up to the prospect of the Scottish National Party taking power. The crisis reached a tipping point as today’s Daily Mail front page headline, ‘Scottish Natzis coming to kill your families and drive down house prices’, triggered widespread panic.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2015
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Fine weather my doing, say all party leaders

turn out's nice againAs days of unusually warm and sunny weather followed on from the first party leaders’ debate, the leaders themselves have been arguing about who deserves the most credit for it.

‘I arranged for the fair weather to start today,’ said David Cameron. ‘I pledge that the next Conservative government will continue to improve the weather in real terms over the next five years.’ He looked annoyed when George Osborne suggested that he had, in fact, created the ‘right climate’ for the good weather.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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Conservatives rule out coalition with themselves if they win general election

Speaking to the press today, Prime Minister David Cameron was adamant there was no possibility of the Conservatives forming a coalition with the rest of the Conservative party should they win the election in May.

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2015
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Party manifestos to be displayed in plain packets with government health warning

best to keep them away from childrenPoliticians will no longer be able to publicly advertise their manifestos and shops will be expected to keep them hidden away from view under the counter.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2015
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Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
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