Cheering crowds greet first orgasm since 1993
‘Poor Bridget hasn’t been able to crack one off on her own even in the privacy of her own bedroom in case she goes blind and her hands drop off.’
Posted: Aug 1st, 2011
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Posts Tagged ‘contraception’
Pope withdraws from UK at last minute
Pope Benedict XVI last night pulled out of the UK ‘just in time’, leaving both himself and the nation’s Catholics in a state of high excitement.
Posted: Sep 20th, 2010
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ASDA to sterilise all customers to protect gene pool
ASDA, Netto and Lidl have today agreed to long standing demands to insert contraceptives medicines into all their own-brand produce, in a last ditch attempt to protect the country’s gene pool.
Posted: Jun 30th, 2010
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Doctors invent the ‘morning-after’ kebab
Pharmacists have today launched a new emergency contraceptive for couples who fail to take sensible precautions against post-nightclub sex by ingesting partially re-heated meat off-cuts.
Posted: Sep 8th, 2009
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Catholic customs catch man smuggling condoms inside massive consignment of drugs
‘This is a major victory in our War on Prophylactics.’
Posted: May 22nd, 2009
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