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Posts Tagged ‘Cornwall’

Tories welcome minority status for Corniche people

The Tory faithful have welcomed the ‘long overdue’ news that Corniche people are to be recognised and protected as a national minority, thus guaranteeing the human rights of the super-rich. This, they said, should also send a clear message to the rest of the country that it is not enough to simply be ‘ quite well-off’ any more.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2014
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Cornwall secedes, calls in Welsh help

Less than 24 hours after being granted UK minority status, Cornish independence party Mebyon Kernow have announced the county has seceded from Great Britain with immediate effect and can now be considered a separate country. Teams of civil engineers and demolition experts began simultaneous action to destroy road and rail bridges and widening the Tamar to place a 300 metre water border between themselves and Devon.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2014
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Internet speed ‘slugged’ in West Country to match slow pace of life

In response to customer requests, a Super-Slow Broadband internet service is being rolled out in Somerset, Devon and Cornwall. The advanced technology system recognises the speed at which the local population get things done and adapts response times accordingly.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2013
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Olympic Torch relay stuck in slow traffic behind tourist caravan in Cornwall

The Olympic Torch got off to a slow start on its tour of Britain after getting caught behind Brian and Cynthia Jennings on the A30 in West Cornwall.

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Posted: May 18th, 2012
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Cornish ‘Rotavator’ answer to James Cameron epic

The Cornish film industry’s answer to Avatar will have its eagerly awaited premiere at next week’s Cornwall Farmers’ Market in Penzance.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2010
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