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Posts Tagged ‘counter-terrorism’

Terrorists to be allowed to blow up ugly buildings

government urging them to 'just get on with it'The Government today launched its innovative Integrated Terrorism and Urban Renewal Scheme with the successful destruction of a condemned concrete multi-storey car park in Wolverhampton by an alleged jihadist sympathiser.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2013
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Olympic joy for winning missile sites

the 'B' of the bangThere were scenes of jubilation today as schoolchildren and residents celebrated the news that their boroughs had been successful in their bids to be a host site for an Olympic surface-to-air missile launch-pad.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
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Clegg ‘heard May tell Clarke that PM emailed Ed Davey to say no to snooping’

‘I’m completely opposed to snooping in any form,’ said Clegg, ‘and I know my Cabinet colleagues are too because I read it in a classified policy paper that Vince Cable accidentally left on his desk yesterday.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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Special forces units gagging to ‘neutralize’ literally anyone ahead of Olympics

The government put on a special homoerotic display of force in the capital this week, as boats loaded with heavily armed burly looking men roamed the waters of London. Sailing down the Thames with expensive looking weaponry, groups of professional psychopaths wanted to make an effort to reassure Daily Mail readers, as well as scare ‘anyone who looks foreign’, as a neurotic capital prepares to go fully hysterical about the prospect of terrorism during the Olympics.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2012
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C-3PO blames ‘car keys’ for three-hour airport security delay

Camp protocol droid C-3PO has blamed his spare set of car keys for his disastrous attempt to get through airport security yesterday.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2011
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