Every year, more than 100 million rodents are killed in US laboratories alone, so rats are somewhat underwhelmed by any claims made by the Coronavirus. Said one rat: ‘Surviving 28 days on a mobile phone is one thing, [read...]
To simplify the government’s strategy for tackling the pandemic, warning levels have been broken down into three easy to follow tiers.
The most serious ‘Commonsensical’ level applies to households with a QAnon twitter account and in which at least one family member likes to lick door handles and toilet seats. [read...]
MP’s on both sides of the house were shocked to find that following this mornings unveiling ceremony, the impressive memorial to ministerial incompetence has been built in the wrong place. Instead of just outside Parliament in Victoria Tower Gardens it’s been erected in an industrial estate in East London. [read...]
As coronavirus has now been confined entirely to the region of the UK where strangers talk to each other, the government has decided to force the contaminated north to find alternative venues to be 24-hour party people. [read...]
Washington insiders have been forced to admit that there is nothing specifically in the American constitution that prevents a President remaining in office after they have died. ‘Everyone just sort of presumed we would move on to the next guy…’ [read...]