NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘credit crunch’

New tech allows ‘blood sucking bankers’ to upgrade from metaphor to fact

Barclays’ business customers will now be able to log on by scanning the unique pattern of their veins; or as one banker described it as ‘…the fast track to their life essence’. Slumbering in their coffins by day, Barclays’ employees will now visit savers in their homes at twilight but only if the customer has signed a waver ‘inviting them in’, ‘banning the use of garlic’ and to avoid all reference to ‘PPIs’.

Read more >

Posted: Sep 6th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Black box from Gordon Brown’s government found

the truth at lastAfter years of intensive searching, a team of scientists believe that they have located the ‘black box’ at the heart of the Labour government during Gordon Brown’s premiership from 2007 to 2010.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 27th, 2014
More from Politics



Kingdom United faces administration

tough times ahead against FC DeutschlandEuropean Premier League side Kingdom United could be the first high profile club to enter into administration after talks to avert a winding-up order collapsed in the high court earlier today.

Read more >

Posted: Feb 13th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Cashpoints now asking if you can really afford it

Automated telling machines are becoming increasingly stingy and are refusing to actually let go of the cash.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 27th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Food banks ‘too big to fail’ warns think tank

UK food banks have become so large and interconnected they cannot possibly be allowed to fail claims an independent think tank. Writing in The Economist, Bank of England Chairman Mark Carney agreed with the evidence put forward by the policy researchers, saying he thought they had got it spot on.

Food distribution centres are now such an integral part of government policy it is unthinkable what would happen should they be allowed to go under said Carney. ‘These banks are at the heart of the nation’s service industry, employing thousands of people and serving millions of customers across the UK. They can be seen on every high street and shopping mall and have come to represent everything this government stands for’ he added.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 4th, 2014
More from Politics