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Posts Tagged ‘credit’

Bank of Mum and Dad near crisis after Mum ‘attempts to float off Dad’

both sides need to recapitalise, and fast, before it's too lateThe phone lines of the well-respected Bank of Mum and Dad have been jammed by accountholders after rumours that the Dad side of the business has been in ‘secret deals’ with an allegedly ‘inappropriate non-financial institution’, with huge sums of the bank’s reserves unaccounted for. This has led the Mum side of the business to initiate a ‘float off’ of the more lucrative Dadbank franchise, and rumours that the Mum side might look for ‘temporary partnerships’ with newer, ‘more experimental’ institutions to ease the coming crisis and plan for future holdings.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2013
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RBS freezes Queen’s bank accounts at Coutts and Co. after Goodwin stripped of Knighthood

Her Majesty brought along an 'n' and defaced their logoThe bank informed Her Majesty that it had no option but to withdraw facilities, and that she could ‘stick her Knighthood right up her big fat Royal corgi’.

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2012
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