‘With student houses you have at least four sets of laptops, iPhones and a fair bit of ready cash in each house, protected only by a front door that they’re probably too stoned to lock,’ said a spokesburglar. ‘If there aren’t any students, how are we going to make an honest living?’
In a new effort to rebalance the public finances, Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that prisoners reaching the end of their sentence in UK jails will no longer be released straight onto the streets, but will instead leave prison through a new HM Prisons Gift Shop.
Posted: Jul 2nd, 2012
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The Metropolitan Police have issued a public appeal for help with creating a ‘really cool sounding acronym’ in an attempt to reduce gun crime in London.
Posted: Oct 16th, 2011
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Figures released today show that criminals are bypassing the State prison postcode lottery by committing crimes in areas which will guarantee them places in the country’s prestigious private jails.
Posted: Apr 2nd, 2011
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Phil ‘The Greek’ Windsor, the long-time enforcer for Britain’s most notorious crime family, is apparently considering coming out of retirement for one last big payday and liquidating a young family member known as Andy ‘Duke of York’ for bringing humiliation on the clan.
Posted: Mar 13th, 2011
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