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Posts Tagged ‘crime’

Special K women in court on suspicion of theft

A gang of beautiful women appeared in court today facing charges of theft and trespassing. The women of mixed origins were nabbed last week at a barn in Kent where Police found them feasting on their ill-gotten grains.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2014
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Loss Adjuster comes out of retirement for ‘one last job’

When Clive Barnes of Barnes & Snodgrass Loss Adjusters turned up unannounced at the Costa del Sol villa of his former colleague Trevor Clark his wife Angie knew what it meant.

‘Trevor promised me years ago that he’d given up the loss adjusting game for good but when Clive turned up I knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist one last job’ sobbed Angie. ‘Clive told him it was a big one – a bank on the King’s Road. It was fire and water damage he said, just like the old days. He wanted Trevor because he was experienced and he needed a cool head, not some cocky kid still wet behind the ears.’

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
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Britain unsure if it wants to be more or less ‘rapey’

Justice for allThe Director of Public Prosecutions, Alison Saunders, is hoping to dispel the ‘myth’ that insufficient evidence should ever dissuade the police or courts from pursuing newspaper headlines with meaningless statistics.

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2014
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UK economic activity statistics to include contract killings

Funds received by gang lords for nefarious activities such as people trafficking and contract killings are to be included as part of the UK’s economic activity say the ONS. VAT exempt financial transactions such as arson, protection money, kidnap ransoms and extortion will also be included in the measures although money laundering will not be included for another two years.

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Posted: May 30th, 2014
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Man with ‘Identikit-style’ face arrested again

A man from North London was arrested for the 16th time in three weeks last night, owing to his uncanny resemblance to the CGI face on all police ‘wanted’ posters.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2014
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