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Posts Tagged ‘crime’

Major police operation after Farage missing from news for ten minutes

Police have said they are ‘desperately concerned’ for the welfare of UKIP leader Nigel Farage after he was reported missing from the news ten minutes ago.

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2014
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Listening out for dark, incidental music could prevent crime and save lives, say Police

Run away... run away...A high level police enquiry has noted that most crimes these days seem to be committed whenever a haunting musical accompaniment is playing in the background, leading them to warn the public to be vigilant whenever they hear long, low bass notes or the sound of multiple staccato string instruments in their daily lives.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2014
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Tough American cop fails to find informant in strip joint

"Nothing of interest here. I guess I'll just move along."When Seargeant Roy Myers of Precinct 14 on the mean streets of East Rutherford, New Jersey, heard that Joey ‘Fingers’ Dalessandro might know something about a recent spate of gangland murders, his sources told him that he would be sure to find his man at the Little Darlings strip joint on Highway 36. His sources were wrong.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2014
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Government crime figures show huge drop in cartoon villainy

ASBOs an effective deterrent for crime on nation's railways.Convictions for cartoonish villainy have dropped by nearly 70% since Labour came to power, new Home Office statistics reveal.
The figures show that in 2008 only two women were tied to railway tracks by convicted cape-wearing moustache-twirling scoundrels, down from nearly 1,000 in 1928.

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2014
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Glaswegian attack victim slams ‘rubbish’ muggers

Och, take it, nae bother.Three Glaswegian lads jump me, and the worst they’ve done is damage ma’ pride in the local fightin’ talent. They were a total disgrace.

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Posted: Sep 15th, 2014
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