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Posts Tagged ‘crime’

Crime falls by 10% as austerity hits burglars

The Crime Survey of England and Wales has shown that crimes against adults and households fell by 10% in the last year, further proof of austerity hitting every part of society. Rising prices of tools and a sharp fall in prices on the black market has seen the average burglar ‘barely break even’.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2014
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‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians

did he violate six statutes, or only five?In a controversial ruling, no-nonsense cop ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan walked free from a federal court yesterday after a jury acquitted him of the ‘targeted hits’ of lowlife, good-for-nothing punks.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
More from UK News



Pensioner not badly shaken after being shaken badly

‘When I saw this yob coming at me, I was expecting at least a black eye or a broken nose,’ Brennan said. ‘But all he did was shake me by the shoulders for a bit, before saying he was Kyle Deekins of 51 Spencer Street, Daventry. This was the most pathetic mugging I’ve ever had. I’m devastated.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
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Scotland’s future uncertain after border with England stolen

'Och no, it was way lower than that'The outcome of the campaign for Scottish independence has been thrown into doubt following reports that the border between Scotland and England has been stolen.

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2013
More from UK News



New schools inspector ‘has a little word’ with head teachers

not your typical inset dayThe Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove, has announced the appointment of a new Chief Inspector for Schools. Ronnie ‘The Animal’ Henderson has been brought in, he said, ‘to add rigour and robustness to the schools inspection framework’.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2013
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