All acts previously considered criminal are to be made legal, the Government has announced today. ‘We’re positively chuffed that our economy has overtaken France’s thanks to prostitution and the ever popular illegal drugs industry,’ said Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. [read...]
Police have said they are ‘desperately concerned’ for the welfare of UKIP leader Nigel Farage after he was reported missing from the news ten minutes ago. [read...]
A high level police enquiry has noted that most crimes these days seem to be committed whenever a haunting musical accompaniment is playing in the background, leading them to warn the public to be vigilant whenever they hear long, [read...]
When Seargeant Roy Myers of Precinct 14 on the mean streets of East Rutherford, New Jersey, heard that Joey ‘Fingers’ Dalessandro might know something about a recent spate of gangland murders, his sources told him that he would be sure to find his man at the Little Darlings strip joint on Highway 36. [read...]
Convictions for cartoonish villainy have dropped by nearly 70% since Labour came to power, new Home Office statistics reveal.
The figures show that in 2008 only two women were tied to railway tracks by convicted cape-wearing moustache-twirling scoundrels, [read...]