Debenhams bosses were ‘delighted’ after it was announced that their store had won the contract to provide all the UK’s police forces with the blankets used to cover suspects’ heads as they enter and leave court buildings.
Posted: Apr 7th, 2011
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‘It’s the downturn,’ said ‘Mad’ Mick Moran (burglar and the magazine’s editor). ‘There’s just isn’t the good stuff for the taking in people’s homes.’
One drug dealer is moonlighting as a fireman.
Posted: Jan 9th, 2011
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Scientists and anthropologists have discovered that the periodic table, just like any other community, contains a no-good criminal element.
Posted: Nov 27th, 2010
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The Devil will impose non-custodial sentences following a report by the Chief Inspector of Prisons highlighting problems of overcrowding and poor conditions in Hell.
Posted: Oct 13th, 2010
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‘The locals are always saying how things were better when the Krays were in charge, well now we have an opportunity to test that theory.’
Posted: Aug 30th, 2010
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