NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘criminals’

Criminal element discovered in Periodic Table

got to watch him as he's always a bit heavyScientists and anthropologists have discovered that the periodic table, just like any other community, contains a no-good criminal element.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 27th, 2010
More from Science/Technology



Devil agrees to trial community sentences

just dong an honest day's workThe Devil will impose non-custodial sentences following a report by the Chief Inspector of Prisons highlighting problems of overcrowding and poor conditions in Hell.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 13th, 2010
More from World News



Kray twins to be reintroduced into the wild

a return to the good old days‘The locals are always saying how things were better when the Krays were in charge, well now we have an opportunity to test that theory.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 30th, 2010
More from Environment, UK News



Criminals to be issued with flat pack prisons

Justice Secretary to lock 'em up and throw away the Allen key‘Every prisoner will be told to stay at home and assemble their own cell.’

Read more >

Posted: Jul 12th, 2010
More from UK News



Government crime figures show huge drop in cartoon villainy

ASBOs an effective deterrent for crime on nation's railways.Convictions for cartoonish villainy have dropped by nearly 70% since Labour came to power, new Home Office statistics reveal.
The figures show that in 2008 only two women were tied to railway tracks by convicted cape-wearing moustache-twirling scoundrels, down from nearly 1,000 in 1928. ‘This is a vindication of the government’s criminal justice policy over the last twelve years,’ said Home Secretary Alan Johnson. ‘We have always said we would be tough on the causes of crime, and these statistics prove that we were right to ban the sale of velvet capes, top hats and moustache-twirling equipment to anybody with a criminal record.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 16th, 2009
More from UK News