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Crucifixion of Jesus ‘may have been a DIY accident’
‘He may have got in a tangle attempting to put up some shelves’ [read...]
Tagged crucifixion
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Sky wins Easter Week TV contract
The final week in the life of Jesus Christ and His resurrection will be shown exclusively on Sky between 2018 and 2023, it was announced today. The broadcaster beat off rival bids from Channel 4 and a consortium of the Catholic Church and Amazon Prime, [read...]
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Katie Hopkins to be crucified on Good Friday to redeem sins of mankind
The Church of England’s first female bishop has confirmed that celebrity Antichrist Katie Hopkins is to be executed on the cross on Good Friday, April 3. Against the backdrop of yet another cosmologically inconsequential but newsworthy Twitter spat, [read...]
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NHS resurrection performance slammed
The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene. [read...]
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Lloyd Webber seeking contestants for reality crucifixion show
The BBC today revealed plans for a new reality show in which Andrew Lloyd-Webber will seek out someone ‘special’ from among the general public to take on the coveted, but currently vacant role of absolver of all our sins. [read...]