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Posts Tagged ‘crucifixion’

Katie Hopkins to be crucified on Good Friday to redeem sins of mankind

forgive them for they know not what they do, but if they follow my 15 point plan...The Church of England’s first female bishop has confirmed that celebrity Antichrist Katie Hopkins is to be executed on the cross on Good Friday, April 3. Against the backdrop of yet another cosmologically inconsequential but newsworthy Twitter spat, the Right Reverend Libby Lane preached that this was humanity’s last chance to find eternal salvation.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2015
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Stations of the Cross closed – replacement buses brought in

Stations 6 and 7 of the Cross, currently closed for refurbishment, will not be ready for use this Easter due to unforeseen problems with sub-contractors.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
More from From The Archives



NHS resurrection performance slammed

The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Crucifixion of Jesus ‘may have been a DIY accident’

Joseph taught him everything he knew about popping it in the right hole‘He may have got in a tangle attempting to put up some shelves’

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2010
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Lloyd Webber seeking contestants for reality crucifixion show

The BBC today revealed plans for a new reality show in which Andrew Lloyd-Webber will seek out someone ‘special’ from among the general public to take on the coveted, but currently vacant role of absolver of all our sins.

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2008
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