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Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

a massive bombardment of salbutamol should sort itSyrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.

‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
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