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Posts Tagged ‘Cuba’

Latest UK Government Mastercard statement shows drunken purchase of Cuba

The hunt was on today to reveal the name of the high ranking civil servant who has apparently used his or her Government Mastercard to buy Cuba. The purchase was made late on Tuesday night at the ‘Che’ bar and nightclub in downtown Havana and investigators are working on the theory that the Civil servant involved may have been lulled into the deal with several earlier rounds of ‘Cuba Libre’s. The statement shows that Cuba was actually really quite expensive after all.

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2015
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Greenpeace praises ISIS’s low carbon execution methods

‘While Greenpeace would not condone violence – unless it’s a climate change sceptic and there are no cameras present – we must single out ISIS for their commitment to low carbon outcomes,’ said Greenpeace’s business spokesperson, Susan Mueslini.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
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USA lifts embargo on Isle of Wight

fears that trade with America could mean culture disappears for goodIt’s an island famed for sunlit beaches, crumbling beauty and old fashioned classic cars with romantic names. Austin Allegros, Morris Oxfords, Hillman Imps – all ingeniously preserved by colourful locals. Now, after half a century of isolation, the United States has lifted the embargo that has kept the Isle of Wight cut off for over half a century.

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2015
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Clinton looking forward to ‘a massive cigar’

might still smoke it out in that quiet little room with no cameras...Former President Bill Clinton has greeted with delight the news that Americans might be allowed to import Cuban cigars legally after President Obama announced plans to normalise relations between the two countries. ‘I have had some enormous cigars in the past,’ he told the Washington Post. ‘As a young man these were totally huge. Many of my friends and colleagues will remember just how big these totally legal large cylindrical male-oriented objects were.’

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
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Derbyshire cider maker arrested on terrorism charges

‘This was an especially monstrous demogration,’ he declared. ‘I was on my way to consult an oculist for my dyxlesia when I saw a huge sign demoting a terrorist group right in the arse of Derbyshire’s beer country. I drove into the terrorist camp, which was hidden in an orchard, and took the Mr Binladen into custody.’

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2014
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