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Posts Tagged ‘cull’

Outrage as unholy strain of myxomatosis introduced into Meerkovo

other ways of getting rid of them on 'comparethecull.com'Animal rights activists have reacted in horror after the exponential rise in meerkat numbers throughout Europe forced Russian authorities to introduce a genetically modified strain of the myxomatosis virus into the village of Meerkovo. Meerkat numbers have grown massively in the last couple of years, from a solitary ‘uber-meerkat’ to a ‘plague of Biblical proportions’, according to Yuri Rochenko, head of the Moscow State Pest Control Authority.

‘What started off as one meerkat on a TV advert has rapidly increased to a whole village full of them and they’re now spreading to other European countries, infiltrating nation states by being boxed up and sold with insurance policies. There is an urgent need to keep these vermin down in a humane way that does not invalidate our no-claims bonuses.’

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
More from World News



Cull bottom 5% to improve average GDP, says Osborne

‘By culling a relatively small number of people, we can rapidly get ahead of Belgium. Scottish independence would have a similar effect but we really need the Scots to stay – they make such excellent cannon-fodder.’

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Government entrusts cat cull to schoolboys

Licensed schoolboys across the country have been brought in to help stem the spread of cat to human TB the Government have announced.

Under plans unveiled at a packed news conference the cull of cats will take place between the hours of after school and bed time in three pilot areas.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2014
More from Environment



DEFRA chief ‘caught wife in bed with badger’

The mystery of DEFRA’s antipathy towards badgers may have been solved, with the publication of a shocking ‘Cull and Tell’ memoir by DEFRA insider Alison Bethel.

‘When foxes turned urban, we weren’t too worried’, she writes. ‘It was just a bit of rummaging in bins, playing hip-hop music, that sort of thing. But badgers went one step further – they turned urbane. They were the talk of the Home Counties – sophisticated, witty, charming, with a hint of the night about them. Actually, quite a lot of the night, being nocturnal.

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2014
More from Environment



Badger admits falsifying ‘killer spider’ story to deflect attention from cull

don't be stupid, it's only a spiderA crafty badger has today admitted to circulating a misleading and factually incorrect story about ‘man-eating death spiders’, in a desperate bid to lead the publics’ attention away from the mass badger cull that shot into action back in August.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2013
More from Environment