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Posts Tagged ‘cumbria’

Ill-informed Cumbrians readying for Scottish invasion

fears that reserves of Kendal Mint cake could fall into enemy handsAn eery silence has descended on Cumbria. The people are edgy, suspicious. Violence erupts in odd little bursts – a chip-shop owner advertising ‘deep fried anything’ is publicly flogged as a sympathiser; a man is stoned for telling a Billy Connolly joke.

Thousands are fleeing to the safety of Carlisle’s walls. Others are on the hilltops, eyes scouring the horizon, preparing to light the beacons at the first sign of ‘Men in Skirts’.

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Posted: Sep 15th, 2014
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Some households in North of England still without Royal updates, warns Met Office

no change predicted for another four monthsThousands of homes around the UK have been without an update on the Duchess of Cambridge’s health for several hours say emergency services.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2013
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