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Posts Tagged ‘cuts’

UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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London 2012 ‘proves austerity works’, declares Cameron

‘Just look at Jess Ennis, Mo Farah and that ginger lad – George Osborne has been cutting their funding like mad since we got in, and look what it did for them. Brilliant.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2012
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British forces suffer huge troop losses in ‘stroke of pen’ attack

In a shocking day of carnage on Tuesday, over 3,000 British troops were lost – the largest one day troop loss since World War II.

A solemn Chief of the Defence Staff, General Sir David Richards, offered his condolences to the families of those affected saying initial inquiries pointed to the attack being conducted by a ‘stroke of the pen’. Sir David then dropped a bombshell as he indicated that the losses may have been the result of ‘friendly fire’.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2012
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Nancy Cameron in failed bid to distract David Cameron from cocking anything else up

Nancy Cameron has apologised to the nation after her bid to distract her father from cocking anything else up by hiding in a country pub ended in failure.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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Osborne to tax pocket money

A starting rate of 2% on £2 per week will increase to 10% for amounts up to ten pounds. Pampered brats receiving more than that per week will be taxed at the full 50% higer-earners rate.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2011
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