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Posts Tagged ‘cycling’

Boris Johnson launches new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme

feel the powerBoris Johnson has today announced plans to launch the all new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme in London, believed to be the first of its kind in Europe. ‘These new Boris Cannons are a tremendous wheeze,’ said the London Mayor today. ‘I have already spent the day riding around on one, hosing down the hoi polloi and washing away beggars from shop doorways. It’s tremendous fun.’

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2014
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Penguin admits cycling to win 100km ‘march’

‘In my defence, I’ve got really short legs, even for a penguin, and it’s a really long way’

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2014
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Iain Duncan Smith raises retirement age for Olympic cyclists

plenty of mileage left in those magnificent thighsFollowing an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to require all members of team GB to continue professional competition ‘until at least 75 years of age, preferably longer’.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2013
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Speculation mounting that the ‘manner’ of Lance Armstrong’s confession was the medium of dance

Armstrong hoping to win this year's Tour des StudiosFollowing Oprah Winfrey’s admission that Lance Armstrong’s confession was ‘not in the manner she expected’, speculation is growing as to the way the disgraced cyclist admitted his cheating.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2013
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Armstrong admits taking life enhancing drugs to prevent cancer

Seven times Tour De France champion Lance Armstrong today confessed to taking a series of sophisticated medicated drugs to ward off testicular cancer. The cycling champion publicly admitted to taking a course of chemotherapy treatment in a frantic bid to postpone death and improve his quality of life.

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2012
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