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Posts Tagged ‘cycling’

Lance Armstrong finds drug that fools lie detectors, takes lie detector test

Lance Armstrong has said that he intends to use lie-detector tests to prove to the world that he did not systematically dope during his record-breaking seven Tour de France victories, after finding that a cocktail of drugs can give him a competitive edge in lie-detector tests.

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Posted: Oct 16th, 2012
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Hoy, Wiggins, Pendleton arrested for ‘incitement to block roads’

all over the placeSir Chris Hoy, Bradley Wiggins and Victoria Pendleton were arrested for encouraging thousands of condom-clad poseurs to clog up the roads as they try to emulate their heroes.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2012
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‘We thought of cycling first,’ say veteran two-wheel commuters

People who have been cycling ‘long before Bradley bloody Wiggins and the Olympics came along’ have been loudly pointing it out to those who have just developed a sudden urge to get down to their local bike shop and join in.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2012
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British public ‘elated but exhausted’ after trying to watch cycling for a week

Thousands of Brits have expressed their delight at Bradley Wiggins’ Tour de France win, but also admitted that they are ‘mentally and physically drained’ after pretending to be interested in cycling for a whole week.

‘It was a long, hard slog. The highlights alone were tough going, and the live coverage was probably the most gruelling thing I’ve ever done’, said newly converted cycling ‘fan’ Jim Westing from Stoke.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2012
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Bradley Wiggins tests positive for Quadrophenia

This year’s Tour de France has been rocked by fresh allegations of modding.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2012
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