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Posts Tagged ‘Daily Express’

Tabloids schedule destruction of Gareth Bale for mid-March

won't be long now.. Do something ghastly, damn you

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2015
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Daily Express to merge with British Medical Journal

everything can finally be curedTwo of Britain’s leading publications are to merge to create a vibrant new health journal containing peer-reviewed research studies, plus attention grabbing headlines about asylum seekers bringing in ebola. The new publication will be named The Daily British Medical Express, (incorporating World of Diana) and will feature ‘cutting-edge research, medical jobs, rampant speculation, conspiracy theories, apocalyptic weather forecasts and recipes’.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2015
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Health and Safety Nazis invade Poland

Tabloid columnists were up in arms today after battalions of overzealous health and safety officials – dubbed ‘Health and Safety Nazis’ – were seen marching across the Polish border wearing hard hats and high-visibility jackets, and armed to the teeth with clipboards and pens.

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2011
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Daily Mail launches weekly hardcore supplement for left-wing high dudgeon addicts

every single bloody day‘All we have to do is run a headline like ‘How long till asylum seekers open their own terror training academies in the suburbs?’ and stand back and wait for the fireworks.’

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2010
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Aung San Suu Kyi tells tabloid press she really isn’t ready to start dating

still holding out for right Milk Tray man to swim across her lake.‘She’s just playing hard to get,’ said Mariana Holt, writing in the Daily Mail.

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Posted: Nov 15th, 2010
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