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Posts Tagged ‘Daily Mail’

Ebola can cause/cure cancer

Scientists have discovered a correlation between the final stages of the virus ebola and cancer. It is believed that only those with particularly nasty strains of ebola are at risk. Cancer clinics in West Africa are already stretched, and policy makers are suggesting some international aid aimed at fighting ebola should be redirected against the new threat.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2014
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Sid James sex pest trial jury returns verdict of ‘Oooh, saucy!’

er, carry on...The jury has sensationally decided that ‘that was how it was in them days’ and that no further action should be taken.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
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Daily Mail website to be given ‘Moral Panic button’

Could have saved thousands of lives if introduced sooner. Mail now investigating.Clicking button will automatically notify relevant authorities that ‘something must be done’.

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2014
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Daily Mail fears celebrity paedophile shortage

Editorial staff at the Daily Mail are in crisis talks after realising that most of the lovable celebrity paedophiles have been unmasked.

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2014
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Newspaper hacks celebrate ‘prettiest A level students ever’

‘In our day it was much more difficult to track down an attractive 18-year-old girl with good exam results to stick on the front page.’

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2014
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