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Posts Tagged ‘Daily Mail’

‘And that’s why I don’t bother voting anymore’ explains John from Accounts

Office workers in Reading learned of co-worker John Hunter’s reasons for not exercising his democratic right to vote anymore yesterday, during an extensive lecture during their lunch break.

The twenty-seven minute diatribe about ‘The good old days’ with frequent references to how ‘People had respect for each other’ included repeated claims that ‘You didn’t lock your front doors, because you didn’t need to’. At one point John seemingly lost his focus and digressed into details about how ‘I remember when this was all fields’ before returning to the subject in hand and explaining ‘There was none of this Health and Safety nonsense either’.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2013
More from Lifestyle



Mail Exclusive: Fury as lefties mourn dead foreign terrorist

There has been widespread anger as members of the British liberal-left elite have lined up to pay tributes to Nelson Mandela, a convicted Communist terrorist from South Africa.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2013
More from World News



Daily Mail launches weekly hardcore supplement for left-wing high dudgeon addicts

every single bloody day‘All we have to do is run a headline like ‘How long till asylum seekers open their own terror training academies in the suburbs?’ and stand back and wait for the fireworks.’

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2013
More from From The Archives



Press to be regulated by Satan

In a bid to improve the moral standards of British newspapers, regulatory control is to be handed to Satan. This is said to be something of a ‘poacher turned gamekeeper’ role for the Evil One, who cut his journalistic teeth editing the Daily Mail before taking up malevolent acts full-time in the 1960s.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2013
More from News In Brief



Daily Mail and Guardian merge to create new Moral Guardian paper

Glenda Jackson's never looked so hot in a bikiniIn a move that has surprised media experts, the Daily Mail and the Guardian are to join forces to create the Moral Guardian, a new paper that combines both moral outrage AND delicious hummus recipes.

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Posted: Oct 16th, 2013
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