The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan. [read...]
‘These new lightsabers are rubbish,’ complained Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. ‘They take ages to light up and when they do you can barely see anything with them.’ [read...]
Dressed up as Batman to draw attention to his plight. [read...]
Lord of the Sith Darth Vader has warned his sworn enemies that he will be unleashing revenge in its most ruthless form, simply by living well. The Dark Emperor threatened a low carb gluten free diet, [read...]
Software giant Microsoft has admitted that the launch of the latest Stephen Hawking upgrade has had to be delayed due to problems with the new operating system, which keeps crashing whenever asked to calculate when the universe began. [read...]
