Lord of the Sith Darth Vader has warned his sworn enemies that he will be unleashing revenge in its most ruthless form, simply by living well. The Dark Emperor threatened a low carb gluten free diet, [read...]
The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan. [read...]
Software giant Microsoft has admitted that the launch of the latest Stephen Hawking upgrade has had to be delayed due to problems with the new operating system, which keeps crashing whenever asked to calculate when the universe began. [read...]
Ardent Star Wars fans have declared themselves disappointed with the latest edition to the George Lucas franchise; with none predicting that it would be a bland film about a UK astronaut. Those who had been expecting an exciting narrative of Jedi and TIE fighters will be treated to a six-month yawn-fest as Mr. [read...]
‘He holidayed on the Death Star, I let him destroy a planet’, sobbed Lord Vader. ‘He even asked if I could lend it him to deal with a ‘pesky’ nation he was bothered about. I’ll vote Tory next time – they never forget a friendly tyrant.’ [read...]
