The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan.
Posted: Jul 8th, 2011
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‘It kept coming and going. Then when I stopped for a cup of tea and some Kendal mint cake I realised it was music, and then I remembered where I’d heard it before. My first thought was, ‘Shit, yes, the Pope’s coming to visit isn’t he?’
Posted: Sep 14th, 2010
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A recent poll of Imperial Storm troopers has revealed that as many as 20% are suffering from psychological issues due to the fact that they have had to switch from fighting for the good of the Universe to joining the Dark Side.
‘Every day is a living nightmare’ said clone Storm trooper A4815162342 who has been diagnosed as suffering from ‘Star Wars Syndrome’.
Posted: Mar 16th, 2009
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‘It was the size of a small moon – a very ambitious project for a first time builder.’
Posted: Sep 8th, 2008
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Software giant Microsoft has admitted that the launch of the latest Stephen Hawking upgrade has had to be delayed due to problems with the new operating system, which keeps crashing whenever asked to calculate when the universe began.
Posted: Jun 21st, 2008
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