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Posts Tagged ‘David Beckham’

Achilles forced to pull out of Trojan War

No point anyway; Helen's already shagging John Terry‘I am absolutely gutted,’ said the Greek hero of myth and legend, ‘I was really looking forward to representing my country and now this.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2014
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England wins right to lose 2018 World Cup

Beckham still confident of 116th capTo the delight of England fans yesterday, FIFA announced that England had been chosen as the first-choice nation to lose the 2018 World Cup.

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2013
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Map makers thank athletes, musicians for putting towns on the map

up to 90% of UK towns 'unknown' before athletes got involvedIn 2008 Rebecca Adlington put Mansfield on the map with her heroics at the Beijing Olympics, filling a slightly embarrassing gap south of Sheffield. Now success from other British sports stars means that ‘at least 90% of the towns in Britain’ feature on road maps.

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2012
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Beckham joins Olympic team in shock selection policy change

‘Now we’ll be selecting on contribution to the Olympic bid rather than on sporting ability,’ explained BOA spokesman Darryl Seibel. ‘So Beckham will now be in the football team instead of Ryan Giggs who did bugger all to help the bid.’

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2012
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Olympic Torch running on Emergency Credit

Olympic Officials today admitted they were “caught off-guard” at how frequently they needed to top up the credit on the Pay As You Go gas card which was intended to keep the Olympic Flame burning.

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Posted: May 25th, 2012
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