The planet Earth has confirmed today that it won’t be enclosing a round robin letter detailing the high and low points of its year this Christmas. This was ‘due to me being unable to condense the low points onto two sides of A4,’ [read...]
The year 2016 has re-emerged from a parallel universe where it has been in an induced coma since 9 January and apologised for everything that has gone wrong in his absence. He also offered to reinstate the scheduled events of the last eleven months. [read...]
Major Tim Peake, the International Space Station crew member, has stated that he has absolutely no desire to return to earth on Saturday. In communications with his team on earth, Major Peake said that events back on his home planet had ‘taken a turn for the worse’ [read...]
A vote to leave the EU will mean fewer musical icons and other high profile celebrities will die, according to Vote Leave. [read...]
The after-life rock supergroup that has been gradually forming over the course of the last four months is reportedly convening an urgent meeting to discuss whether to accept the newly arrived Victoria Wood as vocalist and pianist. [read...]
