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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

France ends refugee crisis by bombing Syria

With barely 10,000 refugees arriving at the Hungarian border in the last few days, many in the EU were starting to panic that we might run out of dispossessed masses, reasons to vote UKIP or emotive photographs of a child’s abandoned shoe. Fortunately the French government has sprung into action with air strikes in Syria, so as to force the remaining cowering citizens to emigrate using the nearest raft.

NATO members offered their support for the French bombing policy, which had already done such a remarkable job of bringing peace and stability to Iraq before it. In turn the British Prime Minister, David Cameron – who spent much of last year railing against Bashar al-Assad – has now endorsed him as a perfect ‘transitional President’ as Syria transitions from 2016 AD to 2016 BC.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2015
More from World News

Britain commemorates end of first week of David Cameron pig sex jokes

Events have been taking place across the country to mark a week since the news broke about David Cameron and the Piers Gaveston society, with celebrations honouring the many different ways in which ordinary people communicated the fact that the Prime Minister had sex with a dead pig’s face.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2015
More from Politics

Cameron ‘passed the port to the right’

New revelations about David Cameron’s student days claim that he ‘wantonly’ passed port in ‘an anticlockwise direction’.

An unnamed source, now a High Court Judge, described an occasion when Cameron allegedly attempted to fill his glass, despite being on the wrong side. ‘Naturally, I enquired whether he knew the Bishop of Norwich – this being the most direct way a gentleman may point out such a faux pas – but Cameron persisted in topping me up. With port I mean, not the other thing’.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2015
More from Politics

Queen presses Prime Minister on details of ‘lewd act’

Although the Prime Minister was keen to talk about international bank rates, the situation in the Mediterranean and the cooler autumn weather, Her Majesty kept coming back to the unspecified accusations she had heard about on Radio 4 news.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2015
More from News In Brief

Everybody now cheating, lying, deviants

Everyone you know or have ever heard of is taking illegal drugs, involved in some kind of nefarious deception or shagging the pants off someone they shouldn’t be, a new study suggests.

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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2015
More from News In Brief