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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Sony to fire film reels into North Korea in retaliation

Sony has vowed to retaliate against the ‘unwarranted hacking’ of its computer system by North Korea by moving a battery of film reel launchers up to the 38th parallel. ‘If they think The Candidate was disrespectful, wait until we lob copies of Bad Haircut, one of Ryan Sommers Baum’s best roles,’ a spokesman said.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
More from Politics



Father Christmas bemoans zero hours contract

exclusivity deal means he can't work anywhere elsePopular present delivery service Father Christmas has called on the Government to do more to prevent the use of controversial zero hours contracts. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he explained, ‘it’s better than being unemployed, but I just have to wait around all year waiting for the call to say they’ve got some work for me. Did you know, I’ve only done 500 days work in the last 500 years? If it wasn’t for all the mince pies I can grab on Christmas Eve I don’t think I’d survive the year.’

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
More from World News



Advertisement Feature: This year’s must-have Christmas gift for home and garden – the Plebgate

The perfect gift for anyone wanting an access point for visiting tradespeople and lower-class acquaintances.

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2014
More from From The Archives



London looking forward to ‘Boris-free Sundays’

‘It’s an inspired idea,’ said one resident, talking about the proposal that Boris Johnson would stay off the streets, off the airwaves, out of the way and would only talk complete shite in the privacy of his own home on Sundays.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2014
More from News In Brief