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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Poor people to be allowed access to landfill sites at mealtimes

someone found a lobster once‘Someone found a lobster once’

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2014
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World Cup style TV screens to stream C.C.T.V. in British town centres

Smile!The government has announced plans to install enormous televisions in the streets of Britain’s town centres, streaming live footage from C.C.T.V. cameras.

‘The appeal of seeing one’s face on a huge television is so great that we anticipate a sharp decrease in anti-social behaviour,’ insisted David Cameron.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2014
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No one in Cabinet ‘experienced in anything’

Eyebrows were raised when it became clear that the new Secretary of State for Education Nicky Morgan, her Ministers and all the parliamentary under-secretaries were privately educated and thus have no knowledge of the state sector beyond seeing the occasional episode of Waterloo Road.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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Cameron to give Satan ‘second chance’ as No.10 press secretary

important to have connectionsPrime Minister David Cameron has today denied accusations of poor judgement after confirming that he has appointed Satan, former overseer of hell, as his new director of communications in Downing Street.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
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Cameron based reshuffle on Marvel comics’ rebranding of Thor as a woman

Claims emerged today that the Prime Minister’s entire reshuffle strategy was based upon the Marvel Comics’ character Thor being recast as a woman.

‘This had nothing to do with gender balance or equity’, said a Westminster spokesman dressed as Spiderman.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2014
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