NewsBiscuit

Britain’s torch bearing mob community is up in arms after word went around that the UK’s prime minister was given a new identity after the Gulf War, and may be given a new one again in May.

‘Who is the prime minister anyway?’ said the leader of the mob. ‘I don’t give a monkey’s. All politicians are the same anyway. But I tell you this – if the bastard came into our pub, he’d get his head kicked in.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 14th, 2010
More from Politics

Read more >

Posted: Mar 5th, 2010
More from Politics

Channel 4’s hit reality show ‘The Secret Millionaire’ is to feature its biggest give-away yet, with the surprise appearance of Conservative Deputy Party Chairman Lord Ashcroft.

In the show, the millionaire benefactor visits an ailing political party and restores it’s fortunes by pumping in millions of pounds. ‘He was amazing’ said Dave, a community worker, ‘he turned up, took a look at the shambles we had got ourselves into and slapped £4 million on the table just like that.’ ‘We just couldn’t believe our luck,’ added George, a trainee project worker, ‘Good old Mr Ashcroft. He’s a real life saver.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 3rd, 2010
More from Politics

David Cameron has sought to reassure voters that the Conservatives would not introduce any new ideas during their first year, quelling speculation that he might actually be able to achieve something interesting if he wins the election.

Read more >

Posted: Feb 1st, 2010
More from News In Brief

Europeans took to the streets in celebration today after foiling a daring plot by the Conservative Party to ‘completely eradicate’ the European Parliament. On the night of November 5th a man was discovered in a cellar underneath the European Parliament drafting a carefully-worded letter to the Council of Ministers tentatively asking if it would possibly be all right if Westminster might have some of its powers back, as long as they didn’t mind. Soon afterwards effigies of David Cameron were being lit and fireworks set off in a collective outpouring of relief that the Tory conspiracy had come to light now, giving the 26 EU member states precious time to compose themselves and prepare a suitably diplomatic response.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 6th, 2009
More from Politics