Ex-SAS soldier, but not really, and inexplicable TV personality, Bear Grylls has been awarded an OBE, for services to – amongst other putrid activities – drinking faecal liquid drained from an elephant’s humungous turd. Grylls said: ‘The art of literally eating excrement and drinking p*ss for the purposes of entertainment has long been ignored, [read...]
A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’ [read...]
Both Prime Minister, Theresa May, and former Home Secretary Ann Widecommbe have agreed to perform a dance-off to solve the Brexit impasse ‘once and for all’. Both are noted for their fluid moves and currently are representing different corners of the British political landscape. [read...]
Flushed with pride at a string of positive comments from members of her party after her ‘brain fade’ moment on TV, Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Party, has now asked her colleagues to come up with yet more ‘creative and exciting’ [read...]
In an embarrassing mix-up, the Electoral Commission has confirmed that Remain actually won the EU referendum after the wrong name was announced on the night. Jenny Watson, chief counting officer for the referendum, admitted the error in the early hours of this morning and attributed it to being given the wrong envelope on the night of 23 June last year. [read...]
