NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Empty chair surges ahead of Cameron in polls

The chair, currently believed to be standing independently, has already received tentative offers from all of the main parties to join with them should the results of the general election force another coalition.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
More from News In Brief



God, Allah and Jehovah struggle to agree on live TV debate format

...and what about the Zoroastrians?Despite increasing strife between their respective followers and the impending Judgement Day in which the sheep may or may not be separate from the goats and the unbelievers may or may not be cast into the eternal pit of fire, it has emerged that God, Allah and Jehovah are still unable to agree on the format of their long-awaited live TV debate.

The main bone of contention is said to be whether or not other gods should be included, while there have also been calls for a separate debate to the north, where Odin is seen as a serious contender. Jehovah, a jealous god, has refused point blank to appear on the same platform as Ba’al or Marduk, while Allah insists that no other gods can take part in the debate because they don’t exist anyway.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 15th, 2015
More from Politics



Cameron: ‘We will still provide paracetamol for cancer patients’

‘Cancer treatment is my number one priority, after Ebola treatment, unless that nurse is getting better, in which case cancer treatment, or at least the cancers that are treatable, you know, the ones that probably go away after a while anyway, are my highest priority…’

Read more >

Posted: Jan 15th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Anger as BBC invites ‘Earth Wind & Fire’ to take part in election debates

‘We felt that people may be tiring of politics by the time of the debates and our focus groups told us that the perspective of some non-politicos and a stonking rendition of ‘Boogie Wonderland’ would help keep things fresh’.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Islamic State tweets ‘haters gonna hate’

Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
More from News In Brief