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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Government orders inquiry into why cover-up did not work

'Have they gone yet?'George Osborne has commissioned an immediate inquiry into why the cover-up of alleged child abuse by high profile Westminster figures did not work.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2014
More from Politics



Cameron and Hague relearning foreign policy by playing Risk

The Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary, having been caught flat-footed by recent geopolitical changes almost everywhere, have embarked on a marathon game of Risk to try and understand it all.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Nice criminals’ will be forced to wear Hallowe’en masks

the world's just not terrifying enough yetFollowing the conviction of Rolf Harris for a string of sexual assaults, the Secretary of State for Justice, Chris Grayling, is set to announce sweeping reforms to festive Hallowe’en costumes to aid the public in their identification and eventual demonisation of suspected criminals. The Metropolitan Police admitted, that having exhausted its supply of freaky-looking paedophiles to prosecute, Operation Yewtree will now have to include celebrities people actually like.

Previously the government had implemented a system whereby serial killers agreed to grow beards, molesters were given bad haircuts and tax avoiders were required to dress like George Osborne. Unfortunately, the agreed classification has become undermined by the rise of ‘paedo chic’, which has seen the likes of Russell Brand making ironic use of Ted Bundy’s mojo and Lady Gaga looking like a transgender Jimmy Savile.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2014
More from UK News



Savile ‘may have been adviser to Cameron’

Details were emerging last night that Jimmy Savile may have been even more revoltingly criminal than anyone had previously imagined. The latest allegation is that he may have ‘advised’ David Cameron. A police spokesman said: ‘This simply beggars belief and will be hard to bear for the victims, of which there will be a staggering number.’

Cabinet Office officials have admitted that Savile may have been granted unfettered access to dead or dying government policies. He was known to have an abnormal interest in ‘going over figures’, and liked to visit the Treasury where many differently-abled individuals were being cared for.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2014
More from Politics



David Cameron says something without seeking legal advice

The Prime Minister once said something in public without first seeking legal advice, it has emerged. Mr. Cameron uttered the unofficial communication last year, while eating with his family at a Pizza Express restaurant in Cheltenham.

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief