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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

‘Extremely difficult’ for independent Scotland to join EU Summer Time

Scotland’s time could be running out, after David Cameron’s declaration yesterday that an independent Scotland would be expelled from both British Summer Time and Greenwich Mean Time.

‘It would be extremely difficult for independent Scotland to join EU Summer Time’, said European Commission chief Jose Manuel Barroso today.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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History of Michael Gove to be made compulsory in secondary schools

Michael Gove, circa 1950‘His story is as English as the Battle of Hastings, or Clause 28,’ said one source.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2014
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Government to cancel at least one Battleship Galactica

David Cameron has confirmed that at least one of the soon to be proposed Battleships Galactica would not be built. ‘Frankly we don’t have the technology and neither is due until the 24th century anyway,’ he said.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2014
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Obama and Putin hour-long phone call was ‘gay hold music’

Initially, White House aides tried ‘Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?’ but when Putin was heard tutting tetchily, they intervened with a recorded message stating ‘Please continue holding, your invasion is important to us’ and started playing ‘Macho Man’ by the Village People’.

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2014
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Illuminati estate agents gloat as Crimea crisis deepens

safe havenskiAs the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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