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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Food banks ‘too big to fail’ warns think tank

‘These banks are at the heart of the nation’s service industry and have come to represent everything this government stands for,’

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Health Minister abolishes ‘NICE’; launches ‘NASTY’

Asked what this stood for, the Health Minister looked puzzled and said ‘It doesn’t stand for anything, that’s just its name.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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Tony Blair ready to challenge Labour leadership ‘within 45 minutes’

In a frank interview the former Labour Party leader denied he had been critical of Ed Miliband and his leadership of the party. ‘Sure I might have said he is a useless fuckwit, but everyone says that,’ he said, adding, ‘and I might have suggested that it should be possible for any half-brained, bleeding heart, know nothing politician to look better than that useless twat Cameron, but obviously I was referring to Nick Clegg, who I don’t think should lead the Labour Party. Or any party, come to think of it.’

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
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Nation decides to have ‘duvet year’

will be up again in time for the OlympicsBritain woke up this morning, opened the curtains, took one look at 2011 and decided to go back to bed for the next 12 months.

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
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Curing disease to be downgraded

Faced with challenging budget cuts, senior managers at the Medical Research Council have decided that making Britain a world leader in sexy new technologies is more important than actually curing everyday illnesses.

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2014
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