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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Tories threaten to finish what they started‏

The meek? Jesus was a silly Socialist...Buoyed by an endorsement from representatives of 5,000 small businesses, the Conservative Party has pledged to put a ‘food bank on every street corner’. Not content with four years of misery, David Cameron hopes to continue with his vision of low interest rates, low inflation and low self-esteem for any graduate looking for a job.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2015
More from Politics



Election to be settled by penalty shoot-out

FIFA are currently insisting the election be moved to the Middle East and be held on Christmas Day.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Cameron ‘not well enough’ to lose election

Doctors have declared that the Prime Minister must be allowed to continue in power on medical grounds. After carefully studying David Cameron’s low poll ratings, medical experts quickly diagnosed Dementia nonculpa, a close variant of the debilitating disease affecting Lord Janner. This terrifying condition produces a powerful immune response to any external threat affecting the [...]

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Posted: Apr 26th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Cameron’s ‘open neck’ approach seals the deal with swinging voters

gets Poldark's voteDashing David Cameron has gaily abandoned his jacket, tossed off his tie, rolled up his sleeves and exposed his fleshy forearms to openly signal that he is right up for ‘doing the business’ with millions of Britain’s uncommitted swinger voters who have gone with multiple parties in the past.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
More from Politics



Hard Working Families to be given extra votes

it's all about getting up again tomorrowNow that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the last day of voter registration looming fast, all spare votes will be distributed among those impossible-to-prove beliefs such as the ‘common good’, ‘patriotism’ and ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from Politics