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Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’

Second leaders’ debate to include interpretative dance

‘Frankly I don’t think I put my case across as well as I could have,’ said David Cameron, announcing that interpretive dance would be part of the second party leaders’ election date. ‘Samantha suggested this because she thinks I’m a real smooth mover.’

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2015
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Boris Johnson launches new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme

feel the power‘I have already spent the day hosing down the hoi polloi.’

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2015
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Why people hate me for being beautiful, by David Cameron

‘I’m a tall, well-spoken and handsome man with a confident demeanour. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being this beautiful.’

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2015
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Electorate can use ‘reasonable force’ to defend against political candidates

‘Voters are now legally entitled to punch, kick and scratch anyone turning up at their door and asking for their vote,’ said the Lord Chief Justice, ‘It is clear provocation.’

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2015
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‘Tory Bastard’ gene isolated

A gene that predisposes someone to become a Tory Bastard has been isolated by researchers at the Genome Institute.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2015
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