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Posts Tagged ‘Death’

Cancer seeks to improve its image

‘Look, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, but who hasn’t’?’ said the malignant neoplasm, fiddling with someone’s DNA. ‘Isn’t it time for us all to move on? Plague doesn’t get such bad press anymore does it, and even Ebola is threatening to evolve.’

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2015
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12 dead in festive edition of Celebrity Total Wipeout – Extreme!

in the next series, those chosen by public vote can use RPGsThe BBC has scored a ratings hit this Christmas with a special edition of Celebrity Total Wipeout in which all 12 C-listers failed to stay the course and were stretchered off the show in coffins.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2014
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Humanity needs hope to cope with fear of eternal life, says Dawkins

death now excluded as an option‘I’ve seen kids as young as five, who can’t sleep because they’re terrified that they and everyone they love will eventually live forever.’

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2014
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US Judge censured for issuing death penalty dressed in Halloween costume

Court staff came as witches, vampires and Egyptian mummies.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
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‘Death on holiday’ tops list of things no-one has sympathy for

It'll be fine...Summer marks that time of year when British holidaymakers begin their annual cull of the most idiotic by leaping drunkenly from balconies, ignoring ski helmets or combining scuba diving with outboard motors. Those unable to afford such expensive jaunts, naturally, respond with the same levels of commiseration normally reserved for small children banging their heads on tables after being told not to run.

So apathetic are our levels of sympathy for the newly deceased on holiday that one sociologist commentated: ‘Being eaten by wild animals is natural selection for the rich, as a person of average income would never see a polar bear outside of a zoo. For those on a tight budget, they are now equating death on safari with voting for Nick Clegg – something you just brought on yourself.’

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2014
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