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Posts Tagged ‘Death’

Cancer still fatal despite NHS Facebook page

‘Fatal diseases are still by-passing our leafleting campaigns,’ admitted Health Minister Jeremy Hunt. ‘The NHS leads the world in leafleting and our use of Facebook as a distribution medium is world-class, so the latest figures are particularly disappointing.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2013
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IKEA fire claims 130 stuck on way through

The blaze took hold slowly over the course of 20 minutes, during which many of the fatalities were observed on CCTV developing a morbid urge to keep perusing. 100 of the dead were found with a packet of scented tea lights, a set of pillow cases and a Malmosk.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2013
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Train suicide man delayed on journey to Heaven by live man on the rail

Shortly after his death Mr Rackly was heard to remark to his fellow travellers in the afterlife that the delay was ‘bloody typical’, that the live man on the rail showed ‘no consideration’ and that he would be ‘haunting his arse’.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
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35-year-old man still searching for the ‘farm’ his childhood dog was sent to

‘I’ve searched all the farms locally, but I still haven’t found any evidence that Buttons lived there. All I can think is that my parents had to send him to a farm a bit further afield.’

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011
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Old age can kill, study warns

The shock finding is reported by researchers at the University of Alabama who found that people in the 80 to 90 age range are far more likely to die than those aged between two and five.

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2011
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